I am often accused of "man-hating".
Of the times I can remember being called a man-hater one was a response
to a discussion I had with a friend about the many ways women are
oppressed by men, and how we are disadvantaged in comparison to men.
Another time was because I pointed out that the demise of midwifery and
the rise of obstetrics was a
male war against women.* Another time I was accused of man-hating for
pointing out that men have power in hospitals and make decisions rather
than the woman in labour whose body these decisions are being carried
out on.** Once I was even
accused of being a man-hater by another feminist academic (though not a
radical feminist) because I suggested some feminists might like to work
with groups concerned about men's health in order to help them see how
they too can suffer because of patriarchy, she was very quick to say
"I'm not saying men are the enemy, I'm saying we should work with them".
Funny, I thought that's exactly what I said!
Accusing someone of man hating can be conveyed in many creative ways. No one has actually had the gall to say to me: "Sazz, you are a man-hater" (I suspect they might have trouble accusing a heterosexual of man-hating -since, by definition, she either unknowingly accepts, or chooses, to make men an important and central feature of her life). Generally people say "that sounds a bit like man-hating", or (one of my favourites) "I understand what you're saying BUT I'm not against men". Interesting that making an observation about society equals being "against men". Feminists should not have to preface every observation, theory, or statement with "I'm not against men, but". Our movement has nothing to do with "being against men", it's about "being for women"! It's about recording and fighting patriarchy (system of male dominance):
"Radical feminism opposes patriarchy, not men. To equate radical feminism to man-hating is to assume that patriarchy and men are inseparable, philosophically and politically."***
Calling me a man-hater is supposed to shut me up. It's supposed to make me rethink my politics and be nicer to men, and not point out all the ways they oppress women. Man-hating is supposed to be interpreted as emotional rather than well thought out. To the people who call me that, "man-hating" is not political, it is just crazy Sazz getting over emotional. I don't consider myself a man hater, but because I know what "man-hater" means to others, I take it as a compliment. It means that I can see the ways men oppress women- and I can name woman-hating (which is a lot more prevalent than "man-hating", but doesn't get named nearly as often). It means I'm not afraid of speaking out against woman-hating, and trying to make men accountable for all that they have done to women. Thus, accusing me of "man-hating" does not silence me, it reaffirms my conviction that woman-hating is rife, so rife that to even identify it is to be put-down and accused of hatred.
Even though I don't consider myself a man-hater, I think man-hating can be considered completely reasonable. These people (men) have violently oppressed women for hundreds and hundreds of years. They have raped, beaten, physically, emotionally, psycholo
What I am getting at here, is that man-hating (whether that be actual, accepted and advocated contempt for men, or whether that be the name given to women who dare to point out the things men have done to women) is a useful political tool as we strive to make this world a feminist one.
I am tired of the "individual male" defence, for example: "you can't say men oppress women because my husband loves me and lets me do what I want, and he's a man" (for one the very fact that you are married to him means you entered into a social contract that is premised upon man taking ownership of woman. Your marriage is evidence that men have oppressed women). Or even "but my boyfriend is pro-feminist". Looking at the individual men who understand and support feminism does little to further our movement and make the rest of them accountable. Furthermore, it is one thing to be a pro-feminist man, and try to live a feminist life yourself, it is quite another to advocate feminism and expect the same of your mates, or your brothers or fathers. Despite knowing many pro-feminist men I have yet to meet one that will put feminism ahead of male bonding and immediately act against another man when he does or says something sexist or patriarchal. But I digress, the majority of men do not understand, do not support, and do oppress women. As controversial as some may find this, I believe the majority of men are woman-haters, and that's what feminism is trying to address and change. So lets stop feeling uncomfortable with identifying women's oppression, and start naming woman-hating when we see it. And from now on, if someone accuses you of man-hating, take it as a compliment, for you are simply observant and articulate.
Accusing someone of man hating can be conveyed in many creative ways. No one has actually had the gall to say to me: "Sazz, you are a man-hater" (I suspect they might have trouble accusing a heterosexual of man-hating -since, by definition, she either unknowingly accepts, or chooses, to make men an important and central feature of her life). Generally people say "that sounds a bit like man-hating", or (one of my favourites) "I understand what you're saying BUT I'm not against men". Interesting that making an observation about society equals being "against men". Feminists should not have to preface every observation, theory, or statement with "I'm not against men, but". Our movement has nothing to do with "being against men", it's about "being for women"! It's about recording and fighting patriarchy (system of male dominance):
"Radical feminism opposes patriarchy, not men. To equate radical feminism to man-hating is to assume that patriarchy and men are inseparable, philosophically and politically."***
Calling me a man-hater is supposed to shut me up. It's supposed to make me rethink my politics and be nicer to men, and not point out all the ways they oppress women. Man-hating is supposed to be interpreted as emotional rather than well thought out. To the people who call me that, "man-hating" is not political, it is just crazy Sazz getting over emotional. I don't consider myself a man hater, but because I know what "man-hater" means to others, I take it as a compliment. It means that I can see the ways men oppress women- and I can name woman-hating (which is a lot more prevalent than "man-hating", but doesn't get named nearly as often). It means I'm not afraid of speaking out against woman-hating, and trying to make men accountable for all that they have done to women. Thus, accusing me of "man-hating" does not silence me, it reaffirms my conviction that woman-hating is rife, so rife that to even identify it is to be put-down and accused of hatred.
Even though I don't consider myself a man-hater, I think man-hating can be considered completely reasonable. These people (men) have violently oppressed women for hundreds and hundreds of years. They have raped, beaten, physically, emotionally, psycholo
What I am getting at here, is that man-hating (whether that be actual, accepted and advocated contempt for men, or whether that be the name given to women who dare to point out the things men have done to women) is a useful political tool as we strive to make this world a feminist one.
I am tired of the "individual male" defence, for example: "you can't say men oppress women because my husband loves me and lets me do what I want, and he's a man" (for one the very fact that you are married to him means you entered into a social contract that is premised upon man taking ownership of woman. Your marriage is evidence that men have oppressed women). Or even "but my boyfriend is pro-feminist". Looking at the individual men who understand and support feminism does little to further our movement and make the rest of them accountable. Furthermore, it is one thing to be a pro-feminist man, and try to live a feminist life yourself, it is quite another to advocate feminism and expect the same of your mates, or your brothers or fathers. Despite knowing many pro-feminist men I have yet to meet one that will put feminism ahead of male bonding and immediately act against another man when he does or says something sexist or patriarchal. But I digress, the majority of men do not understand, do not support, and do oppress women. As controversial as some may find this, I believe the majority of men are woman-haters, and that's what feminism is trying to address and change. So lets stop feeling uncomfortable with identifying women's oppression, and start naming woman-hating when we see it. And from now on, if someone accuses you of man-hating, take it as a compliment, for you are simply observant and articulate.
*For more on men's take over of midwifery:
Daly, M. (1979). Gyn/Ecology: the metaethics of radical feminism. The Women's Press.
Donegan, J. B. (1978). Women & men midwives : medicine, morality, and misogyny in early America. Greenwood Press.
Donnison, J. (1988). Midwives And Medical Men: A History of Inter-Professional Rivalries and Women's Rights. Historical Publications.
Ehrenreich, B. and English, D. (1976). Witches, Midwives and Nurses: a history of women healers. Writers and Readers Publishing Cooperative.
Hester, M. (1992). Lewd women and wicked witches: a study of the dynamics of male domination. Routledge.
Oakley, A. (1977). Wisewoman and Medicine Man: changes in the management of childbirth in Mitchell, J. and Oakley, A. (Eds), The Rights and Wrongs of Women, Penguin Books.
**For more on women's lack of power in hospitals:
Ehrenreich, B. and English, D. (1978, 2005). For Her Own Good: two centuries of the Experts' advice to women, Revised Edition edn. Anchor Books.
Kobrin, F. E. (1966). The American Midwife Controversy: a crisis of professionalization. Bulletin of the history of medicine 40, 350-63.***This quote was passed on to me from a friend in a personal communication, but she could not remember where it originated. A great quote nonetheless.
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